Inspirational Quotes

Funny

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.

649

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

634

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

658

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

670

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

629

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

586

You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it’s supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you’re doing and make the action work for that and for the character.

You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it’s supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you’re doing and make the action work for that and for the character.

906

I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

658

If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.

If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.

787

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

766

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.

678

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

674

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

837

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

677

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

679

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

633

Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.

Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.

659

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

685

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

677

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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