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Home Funny Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

, March 3, 2016

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-Red Skelton

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I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

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I rant, therefore I am.

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Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

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