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Home Funny I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

, March 3, 2016

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-Paula Poundstone

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I rant, therefore I am.

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If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

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It’s not an accident that both my sister and I are writers. Our parents created an accidental Petri dish. My family has great storytellers, and I grew up in a very funny, conversational house and didn’t have television. This small family farm was a bubble world that didn’t have much to do with reality.

It’s not an accident that both my sister and I are writers. Our parents created an accidental Petri dish. My family has great storytellers, and I grew up in a very funny, conversational house and didn’t have television. This small family farm was a bubble world that didn’t have much to do with reality.

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

I’d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

I’d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

There’s one thing about baldness, it’s neat.

There’s one thing about baldness, it’s neat.

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