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Home Funny Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

, March 3, 2016

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-Wilson Mizner

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The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

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Communism is like one big phone company.

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Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

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President Johnson did not want the Vietnam War to broaden. He wanted the North Vietnamese to leave their brothers in the South alone.

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If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

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