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Home Funny Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

, March 3, 2016

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-Wilson Mizner

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The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

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Communism is like one big phone company.

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I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

I don’t wanna hear nobody complain that they’re getting paid all this money and people won’t leave them alone. It’s part of it.

I don’t wanna hear nobody complain that they’re getting paid all this money and people won’t leave them alone. It’s part of it.

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.

To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.

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