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Home Funny Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

, March 3, 2016

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-Wilson Mizner

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The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

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Communism is like one big phone company.

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I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Outside museums, in noisy public squares, people look at people. Inside museums, we leave that realm and enter what might be called the group-mind, getting quiet to look at art.

Outside museums, in noisy public squares, people look at people. Inside museums, we leave that realm and enter what might be called the group-mind, getting quiet to look at art.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

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