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Home Funny Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

, March 3, 2016

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-Wilson Mizner

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The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

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Communism is like one big phone company.

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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

I saw a stationery store move.

I saw a stationery store move.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

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