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Home Funny Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

, March 3, 2016

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-Tim Allen

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A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

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It’s not common for a woman on television, especially if she’s the mom of the family, to be funny. She’s usually a straight man or foil.

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If it’s great stuff, the people who consume it are nourished. It’s a positive force.

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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

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Every dogma has its day.

Every dogma has its day.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

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