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Home Funny Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

, March 3, 2016

527

-Tim Allen

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A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

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When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is – and it’s because comic acting isn’t taken seriously enough. It’s a discipline. You know instantly – either you’re funny and getting the laughs, or you’re not.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is – and it’s because comic acting isn’t taken seriously enough. It’s a discipline. You know instantly – either you’re funny and getting the laughs, or you’re not.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

Talking is always positive. That’s why I talk too much.

Talking is always positive. That’s why I talk too much.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

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