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Home Funny Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

, March 3, 2016

409

-Tim Allen

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A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, ‘What are you talking about?’ Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it’s not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.

The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, ‘What are you talking about?’ Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it’s not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

You know the funny thing, I don’t get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than i get along with the rich people.

You know the funny thing, I don’t get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than i get along with the rich people.

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