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Home Age If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

, March 3, 2016

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-George Burns

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I’d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

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A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’

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Every child’s taste is different. Don’t worry if they’re not reading ‘War and Peace’ at age 12. First, build a good foundation and a positive attitude about reading by letting them pick the stories they enjoy. Make friends with a bookseller or librarian. They are a wealth of information on finding books that kids enjoy.

Every child’s taste is different. Don’t worry if they’re not reading ‘War and Peace’ at age 12. First, build a good foundation and a positive attitude about reading by letting them pick the stories they enjoy. Make friends with a bookseller or librarian. They are a wealth of information on finding books that kids enjoy.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

As you age naturally, your family shows more and more on your face. If you deny that, you deny your heritage.

As you age naturally, your family shows more and more on your face. If you deny that, you deny your heritage.

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.

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