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Home Funny I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

, March 3, 2016

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-Rodney Dangerfield

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If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.

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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

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Be obscure clearly.

Be obscure clearly.

Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.

Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

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