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Home Funny If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

, March 3, 2016

806

-Clint Eastwood

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

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I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

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I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

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I’m for whatever gets you through the night.

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It is to be observed that ‘angling’ is the name given to fishing by people who can’t fish.

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Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

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