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Home Funny If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

, March 3, 2016

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-Clint Eastwood

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is – and it’s because comic acting isn’t taken seriously enough. It’s a discipline. You know instantly – either you’re funny and getting the laughs, or you’re not.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is – and it’s because comic acting isn’t taken seriously enough. It’s a discipline. You know instantly – either you’re funny and getting the laughs, or you’re not.

Be obscure clearly.

Be obscure clearly.

I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time’s chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred.

I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time’s chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

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