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Home Funny I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

, March 3, 2016

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-Lily Tomlin

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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

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I own and operate a ferocious ego.

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I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

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Electricity is really just organized lightning.

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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