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Home Funny When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

, March 3, 2016

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-George Burns

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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

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Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

It’s not common for a woman on television, especially if she’s the mom of the family, to be funny. She’s usually a straight man or foil.

It’s not common for a woman on television, especially if she’s the mom of the family, to be funny. She’s usually a straight man or foil.

It’s to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that’s my method.

It’s to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that’s my method.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.

He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

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