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Home Funny What after all, is a halo? It’s only one more thing to keep clean.

What after all, is a halo? It’s only one more thing to keep clean.

, March 3, 2016

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-Christopher Fry

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Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.

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The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

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People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.

People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

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