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Home Funny I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

, March 3, 2016

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-Billy Connolly

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

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Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I saw a stationery store move.

I saw a stationery store move.

You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it’s supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you’re doing and make the action work for that and for the character.

You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it’s supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you’re doing and make the action work for that and for the character.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

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