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Home Funny One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

, March 3, 2016

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-Samuel Johnson

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Never have more children than you have car windows.

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If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.

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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

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It’s not common for a woman on television, especially if she’s the mom of the family, to be funny. She’s usually a straight man or foil.

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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

One man’s folly is another man’s wife.

One man’s folly is another man’s wife.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

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