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Home Funny One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

, March 3, 2016

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-Samuel Johnson

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Never have more children than you have car windows.

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If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.

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You know the funny thing, I don’t get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than i get along with the rich people.

You know the funny thing, I don’t get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than i get along with the rich people.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is – and it’s because comic acting isn’t taken seriously enough. It’s a discipline. You know instantly – either you’re funny and getting the laughs, or you’re not.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is – and it’s because comic acting isn’t taken seriously enough. It’s a discipline. You know instantly – either you’re funny and getting the laughs, or you’re not.

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