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Home Funny One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

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One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

, March 3, 2016

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-Samuel Johnson

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Never have more children than you have car windows.

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If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.

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The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

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It’s to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that’s my method.

It’s to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that’s my method.

I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

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