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Home Funny When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

, March 3, 2016

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-George Burns

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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

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