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Home Funny I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

, March 3, 2016

715

-Steven Wright

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They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

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I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

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Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

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