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Home Funny I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

, March 3, 2016

756

-Steven Wright

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They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

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I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

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You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

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