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Home Funny I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

, March 3, 2016

710

-Steven Wright

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They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

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I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I read part of it all the way through.

I read part of it all the way through.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

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