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Home Funny I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

, March 3, 2016

727

-Steven Wright

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They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

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I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

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I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

I read part of it all the way through.

I read part of it all the way through.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it’s just wonderful.

To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.

To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.

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