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Home Funny They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

, March 3, 2016

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-Clint Eastwood

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If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

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I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

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Is everything funny? For me, yes. There’s a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there’s something in there that’ll make you laugh.

Is everything funny? For me, yes. There’s a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there’s something in there that’ll make you laugh.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

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