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Home Funny I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

, March 3, 2016

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-Rodney Dangerfield

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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

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An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

It’s not an accident that both my sister and I are writers. Our parents created an accidental Petri dish. My family has great storytellers, and I grew up in a very funny, conversational house and didn’t have television. This small family farm was a bubble world that didn’t have much to do with reality.

It’s not an accident that both my sister and I are writers. Our parents created an accidental Petri dish. My family has great storytellers, and I grew up in a very funny, conversational house and didn’t have television. This small family farm was a bubble world that didn’t have much to do with reality.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.

If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.

I’d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

I’d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

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