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Home Funny I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

, March 3, 2016

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-Joan Rivers

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Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

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Every dogma has its day.

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People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.

People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

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