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Home Funny All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

, March 3, 2016

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-Casey Stengel

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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

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Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

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