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Home Funny All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

, March 3, 2016

673

-Casey Stengel

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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

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Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

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I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

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