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Home Amazing It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

, March 3, 2016

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-Jerry Seinfeld

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

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I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.

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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.

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