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Home Amazing It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

, March 3, 2016

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-Jerry Seinfeld

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

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I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.

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Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

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They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?

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Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.

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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

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