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Home Funny I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

, March 3, 2016

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-Mitch Hedberg

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If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

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Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

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Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

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Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

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