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Home Funny If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

, March 3, 2016

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-Clint Eastwood

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

In any investment you expect to have fun and make money.

In any investment you expect to have fun and make money.

I saw a stationery store move.

I saw a stationery store move.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

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