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Home Funny If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

, March 3, 2016

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-Clint Eastwood

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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I saw a stationery store move.

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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

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