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Home Funny If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

, March 3, 2016

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-Clint Eastwood

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time’s chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred.

I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time’s chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred.

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

There’s one thing about baldness, it’s neat.

There’s one thing about baldness, it’s neat.

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