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Home Funny If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

, March 3, 2016

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-Clint Eastwood

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

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