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Home Funny I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

, March 3, 2016

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-Rodney Dangerfield

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If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.

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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

I never liked you, and I always will.

I never liked you, and I always will.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

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