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Home Funny Let’s have some new cliches.

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Let’s have some new cliches.

, March 3, 2016

905

-Samuel Goldwyn

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A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

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I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?

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Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

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