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Home Funny You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

, March 3, 2016

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-Lucille Ball

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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

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I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

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Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

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Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

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Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

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