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Home Funny You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

, March 3, 2016

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-Milton Berle

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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

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Electricity is really just organized lightning.

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Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

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I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

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