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Home Funny Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

, March 3, 2016

500

-George Carlin

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Tags : George Carlin

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

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I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And it’s funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings, though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid.

I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And it’s funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings, though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is – and it’s because comic acting isn’t taken seriously enough. It’s a discipline. You know instantly – either you’re funny and getting the laughs, or you’re not.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is – and it’s because comic acting isn’t taken seriously enough. It’s a discipline. You know instantly – either you’re funny and getting the laughs, or you’re not.

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.

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