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Home Funny He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.

He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.

, March 4, 2016

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-Alice Roosevelt Longworth

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I never liked you, and I always will.

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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

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I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Be obscure clearly.

Be obscure clearly.

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