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Home Funny I own and operate a ferocious ego.

I own and operate a ferocious ego.

, March 3, 2016

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-Bill Moyers

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

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I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.

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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

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