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Home Funny Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

, March 3, 2016

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-Ogden Nash

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I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.

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Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

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Let’s have some new cliches.

Let’s have some new cliches.

I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

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