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Home Funny You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

, March 3, 2016

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-Lucille Ball

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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

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I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

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Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.

People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.

Outside museums, in noisy public squares, people look at people. Inside museums, we leave that realm and enter what might be called the group-mind, getting quiet to look at art.

Outside museums, in noisy public squares, people look at people. Inside museums, we leave that realm and enter what might be called the group-mind, getting quiet to look at art.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

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