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Home Funny You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

, March 3, 2016

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-Lucille Ball

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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

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I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’

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My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.

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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

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The true poet for me is a priest. As soon as he dons the cassock, he must leave his family.

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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

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