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Home Funny You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

, March 3, 2016

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-Milton Berle

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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

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Electricity is really just organized lightning.

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It’s to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that’s my method.

It’s to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that’s my method.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they’re home. I’m that way at Saks.

If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.

If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.

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