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Home Funny I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

, March 3, 2016

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-Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

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You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

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Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.

What after all, is a halo? It’s only one more thing to keep clean.

What after all, is a halo? It’s only one more thing to keep clean.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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