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Home Funny I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

, March 3, 2016

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-Rodney Dangerfield

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If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.

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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

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Is everything funny? For me, yes. There’s a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there’s something in there that’ll make you laugh.

Is everything funny? For me, yes. There’s a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there’s something in there that’ll make you laugh.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?

He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.

He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.

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