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Home Funny I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

, March 3, 2016

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-Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

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You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

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I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

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