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Home Funny Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

, March 3, 2016

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-Wilson Mizner

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The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

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Communism is like one big phone company.

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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

It’s not common for a woman on television, especially if she’s the mom of the family, to be funny. She’s usually a straight man or foil.

It’s not common for a woman on television, especially if she’s the mom of the family, to be funny. She’s usually a straight man or foil.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

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