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Home Funny The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

, March 3, 2016

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-Jimmy Fallon

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What after all, is a halo? It’s only one more thing to keep clean.

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Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

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Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film ‘Funny Girl’ at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.

To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

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